Posted by: picturefool | May 8, 2008


Me: I think I’ll sit over here. (meaning that I’m going to mime sitting on Sam while he screams in fake agony)

Sam: Ooof! Ouch! Ohhhh!

I get up and laugh and reach for his cheek to rub it.

He flops over.

Him: Oooooh! Disabled!


Len: I offered to protect Sam from you sitting on him by sitting on him myself but he didn’t go for it.

Me: No?

Sam: (holds up his book) Ha ha! You’ll never sit on a book! (clutches it to his chest)

Me: You know us too well!!


Millie got out yesterday. She always gets out. She’s killing me! She’s wearing me out and I have not felt well this week so it’s totally not cool. I went after her, picked her up and actually gently swatted her muscular thigh to make my point. Sam was shocked! All evening, “Mom spanked Millie! And she hasn’t even spanked ME in yeeeeeeaaaaarrrs!”


To catch everyone up on Millie: I placed an ad on Craigslist and Petfinder to try to find a good home for her. I’m trying to spread the word that she needs a home but one has to be careful because of the huge number of psychos in the world. I’ve had no response so far except for one lady who wishes he could take her but has a dog who is blind and sick and might be overly stressed by a hyperactive cat.

The thing I keep coming back to is that five cats is too many cats for us. It’s not fair to them or to us. Len and I both agree on that. (Sam wants 42 cats, a dog, and a few dozen hamsters so we just lock him in the laundry room when we want to discuss this.) I’m trying to not panic and cross my fingers that a good home will appear.

Millie herself is delightful. She is charming and sweet and still has these kittenish qualities that make you giggle while you are still fighting the urge to wring her neck.

She lives on the kitchen counter despite having been sprayed with water a few million times and having been given a bath in the kitchen sink. She ate some butter the other day and let me tell you that makes for interesting litter boxes. Yesterday she UNWRAPPED a piece of coconut cake and ate ALL of the icing from the top. Millie likes coconut. Of course, as far as we can tell she likes everything. We had a bag of those King Hawaiian rolls and she chewed through the bag to get to the bread. It’s astounding. She is the worst behaved cat I have ever known. But after her spanking yesterday she came to find me with this big, soulful eyes, “Mummy, you do still love me to pieces, don’t you?”

And then I kissed her head off.




  1. Millie and Zoe must be from the same family! So very cute, but so mischievious! I can relate with Zoe having ripped open (and eaten) most of a box of tastycakes, a bag of pork rinds and the thing I’m most baffled about is lettuce. I’m convinced she’s part goat.

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