Posted by: picturefool | May 2, 2008

3 Dozen

Today is my 36th birthday. At 11:50 pm EST I will be 36.

I remember a teacher telling me that she was 28. Twenty-eight! The whole class gasped in amazement that it was possible to preserve human life for that long. Now 28-year-olds look like babes in arms to me.

Kidding.

For some reason this morning my mind has gone to ten years ago. I was 26! So young! I was also pregnant with Sam and that makes me gasp. Is it possible that a decade ago I was about to become a mother?

We were so poor and so stupid. But it’s all worked out okay. I certainly, though, never thought that I would be doing the job I do or living the life I live. And since the two things have become inextricable for a complicated series of reasons all I can do is shake my head and wonder what 46 will hold.

Ten years ago I was working at B.Dalton. We were living in a semi-crummy apartment. I was gaining weight at an alarming rate. We were happy, though. And we’re happy now. And now we have a house and Sam is oh so great. And we have each other, thank God. What an amazing blessing that is: each other.

I’ve gotten some amazing little gifties so far and have watched Gilmore Girls (I am NOT addicted!) and have cleaned the kitchen and am about to take a long shower complete with shaving my legs. Today is just too short already and I feel like I need a vacation from being responsible for more than just one day.

So… that’s my day. It’s this bittersweet combo of gratitude for wishes granted and dreams fulfilled and blessings that surround me mixed with sadness over what could have been if I just gone straight for my Master’s degree and could be teaching right now and looking forward to commencement and summer and grading final papers on Christina Rossetti and Charlotte Bronte and the miraculous Charles Dickens. Oh! And not writing run on sentences.

Next time around, eh? For now… Life could be worse.

P.S. Happy Birthday, Oscar. Hope your name is on your cake in heaven. I love you and I miss you.

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Responses

  1. Happy Birthday!

    I forgot you and I were both May babies. I am not so excited about my 2 and 2/3 dozen birthday coming up on the 28th.

    Hope your day is great!
    Mary Lee (Mel)

  2. I sent you a prezzie and then a card and then an email, but just for good measure, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!


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