Posted by: picturefool | March 7, 2008

My boobs are sore

I question sometimes why I have a hard time having “normal” friendships. I don’t have a Best Friend. Len, I guess. But he’s not really into Coach bags or Estee Lauder so there is a missing estrogen component. (When there is a bug or a dead lightbulb or cat vomit I am grateful beyond words for missing estrogen. The glamour of being a husband is blinding.)

Enter New Acquaintance. I met her a year ago and she had a bit of the crazy-eyes and she talked talked talked too much so I kept her at arms length. She’s worn me down a bit over the last year from frequent exposure and I’ve come to like her – though I still am unnerved by the crazy eyes and the talking.

She, nutty as a Snickers, has tons of friends. Tons! “My friend Carol, Robin, Audrey, Sarah, Sally, Simone….” Almost every sentence begins with, “My friend _____.” Why? Why does she have this bevy of female friendship while I can’t think of anyone who will go help me pick out shorts for an upcoming beach trip?

I think I may have figured out Reason Number 1:

She tells everybody everything.

I know that she only has a period every two months, that her brother is kind of a deadbeat, that her dad used to be a somewhat compulsive liar, that her parents have no money, that she has no money, that her ex-boyfriend was abusive, that she used to be a vegetarian, that soy makes her stomach upset, that her dog pees on the carpet every day, that she used to have a cat, that she owes back taxes….

Is that part of the whole gal-pal thing? You have to talk about everything? Do I just need to walk up to someone at the grocery store and say, “Hey! I’m about to start my period and my boobs are sore!” And then I’ll have friends?

Believe it or not, since this blog is all about me, I don’t like to just drone on about myself. If you call me and say, “How are things?” You’ll likely get, “Fine. Busy.” What the frick does that tell you about me? But I don’t like to bore people with the fact that my shampoo is fantastic and that the sound of the rake on my new driveway makes my heart sing and that I want to go see a play sometime soon but don’t want to spend the money and that I wish it was summer already so I could be outside. Blech! And yet, I want to hear that from others! Tell me about the new sponges you found and your conversation with your hairdresser and how work was and how that damned formula in Excel just twisted your mind into a pretzel.

I’m going to continue to look at this part of my life. I have amazing women in my life but I would like more of them.

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